This week we have been focusing on the Muladhara Chakra during all the yoga teacher training sessions. It has been a bit of an intense ride for me. I don’t know much how much of this has been caused by life circumstances and how much of it has been caused by the yoga we have been doing. I certainly feel peeled open and sensitive though.
Muladhara has to do with our base, our sense of stability, our sense of worth. Any of you who know me personally know that stability has not been one of my strong points. I move a lot. I get restless. I yearn for travel. I feel more comfortable when I am around people I don’t know. I have worked really hard to ground myself more. I used to apologize all the time… for everything even if it wasn’t my fault. I had a very low sense of self worth that would be contrasted with occasional moments of violent outbursts (alcohol induced) when I felt trapped. This personality type is pretty typical of someone with a Muladhara imbalance. This week some of those old feelings have been coming back. They really are out of the blue. My logical mind knows the thoughts running through my head, the insecurities are just manifestations of my own mind. And really even if they aren’t.. do I really care all that much if that person at the store finds me obnoxious? Not really. I think it is interesting these funny little worries and self criticisms have been floating to the surface this week. Coincidence? Maybe.
Muladhara rules the adrenal glands. Adrenal gland imbalances cause autoimmune disorders which is something I suffer from. This week my allergies have totally flared up. I HOPE this is because my body is having a little healing crisis on the path to recovery. Allergies are really annoying. I firmly believe that I can cure myself of them. I believe my yoga practice will be a big part of that. Yoga restores and repairs the adrenal glands when approached in a calm gentle way. My challenge is to be gentle with myself. This isn’t something I have proven to be particularly good at in the past.
So lots of lessons this week. Lots. But it all feels good and I feel remarkable grounded as I face some of these old demons of mine.