If any of you are regular readers of this blog you have probably already figured out I am coming out of a rough phase of my life. Mostly it has been due to having a baby and subsequently not sleeping for more than 2 hours in a row for 2 years. Throughout all of this I have known it was temporary which prevented me from sliding into too deep of a depression. I have been working through some blues though and have struggled to find the positive side of life at times.
Yoga helped when I had the energy for it and could get to it but with a new baby that wasn’t always easy. Myself and my partner don’t have any family here so our support network wasn’t great. I found it challenging to keep healthy perspective on life. In the past I suffered from a major depression/meltdown/life crisis and during that time a counsellor suggested I “fake it till I make it“. The baby is finally sleeping through the night and I feel like I have the energy again to refocus. I have been “faking it until I make it”. To help along the process I started writing in a gratitude journal. It is just a small thing online that I write notes in whenever I feel so inclined. It is a list of things like:
- A baby who laughs often and thinks the world of me
- A teen who still hugs me and tells me how he is feeling
- The way Sebastiaan and Freya’s faces look the same when they are sleeping
- The beautiful drive out to work, woods, trees, rocks and deer in abundance
- Hot baths with eucalyptus oil
It is such a simple thing but it is really helping me feel brighter. I often forget how much I really have in life. My physical energy is returning too so I am getting back to a more regular yoga practice. I had been forcing it before but it had just resulted in me being more stressed and fatigued. I backed off a bit, choosing instead to listen to my body’s cries for deeper sleep. It is working… I feel like I am bouncing back and ready for the next phase of this strange and wondrous life I have.