I am a very competitive person. I don’t know if this came from being involved in sports when I was younger or if this has been part of my nature for longer than that. I don’t think I am obnoxiously competitive… but I really don’t like the feeling of losing. I suppose none of us do really.
Part of what I LOVED about yoga when I started practicing it was the focus on being non competitive. It was incredibly challenging for me to work my body without trying to be “better at yoga” than those around me. I hurt myself over and over again pushing my body too far. I learned some hard lessons about my tendencies to go beyond safety within my body in the search for glory. Yoga forced me to be honest. It forced me to accept responsibility for my actions and to stop commanding my body. It helped me see the need to listen rather than push.
The beauty of yoga is that the lessons are continual. It forces you to pause and notice yourself. If I am honest with myself I see that I am feeling these competitive ” I want to win” feelings again when it comes to teaching. But the question is “Win what?” There is nothing to win here. Do I mean make more money? Do I mean “Pick me! Pick me!! to speak at your event? My lessons this time aren’t so much with the body, they are with the mind and emotions.. but they are the same lessons that I had to learn when I started practicing yoga. Non harming. Compassion. Patience. There is no finish line here. There is no race to win. It’s time to just savor the rich and beautiful experience that my own yoga practice and my teaching practice offer.